


Barry's Candlenights Alone

by TaraHarkon



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Candlenights, F/M, Illusions, Loneliness, Lonely Decade, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 16:24:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17005068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraHarkon/pseuds/TaraHarkon
Summary: During the Lonely Decade, Barry finds himself alone and a lich on Candlenights





	Barry's Candlenights Alone

 The cave was quiet, the area outside coated in a light dusting of snow. The red robed specter of Barry Bluejeans hovered near the glowing pod in the corner, trying to gauge how much longer it would be before he could make his next corporeal efforts to search for his wife. With a sigh, he turned away and floated to the table and his map of the plane with all of its markings to show the trails of his efforts thus far. It was a map of failures. A map showing all of the places she wasn’t. Barry closed his eyes for a moment, muttering the incantation for a simple cantrip to tell him the date and time. Candlenights. It was the first night of Candlenights and he was alone.

For a long moment, he just floated there. He couldn’t just drop into a physical form and spend his holiday in blissful ignorance, never knowing what he was missing. Not this time, not today. That was how he had survived so many holidays before now. He had spent his Candlenights among strangers with a smile on his face and static humming through his mind. That bitter relief wasn’t an option this year.

He floated to the bed in the corner, hovering there almost like he could lay down. He could maybe go find Taako or Magnus or even Merle, but what could he do then? They wouldn’t know who he was. They wouldn’t trust him. Lucretia was still keeping him out and keeping Davenport close to her.

And then there was Lup.

Barry wished he could sleep. If he could sleep, then he could just cast sleep on himself and not wake up until Candlenights was passed. But the undead couldn’t sleep. He could only pass each moment as it came, the years tugging at the bonds that held him together. Each passing day threatening more and more to tear him to pieces.

He looked around the cave. The green light of the revivification pod was almost festive. Almost. Holding one skeletal hand out towards the corner, he carefully crafted an illusion of a small Candlenights bush. Nothing big, nothing impressive. Just like they’d had on the Starblaster. Carefully, he shaped the decorations. The popcorn garland just like Magnus always insisted on, even if he would eat most of the stale popcorn by the time the last night of Candlenights was here. The holly berries and ivy for Merle. The little ship, a perfect copy of the Starblaster, always for Davenport. Taako made his own cookies to hang on the bush, beautiful ones with sugar glass trapped in the butter cookie. Lucretia had a single small glass ornament, swirled blue and silver. She’d packed it with her as a reminder from home that she had never expected to need. Barry had always add his own paper chain just like he and his mother had made when he was a boy. And the candle on top with its stable flame? That was always Lup’s doing. She would set it on the bush last and set the enchantments to make sure the little flame didn't escape.

Barry watched the bush take shape and then relaxed some. Magnus was in Ravens Roost last he’d checked, deep in his element with woodworking and a rebellion. Taako was on the road still with an audience that adored him and an assistant who worshipped him. Merle had a family. Lucretia had her Bureau and her secrets. Lup was the only one missing. He looked at the illusory bush once more, consideration on his face.

Then he began to shape another illusion. Tall, taller than him, with a lithe grace. Dynamic and bright, even when she was standing still. Shoulder length hair pulled back in a ponytail with the brown roots showing past the blonde and the latest splash of color courtesy of her twin. Her eyes were sharp but kind, intelligence and curiosity within. The little dusting of freckles across her nose. Long, graceful hands lined with little scars from the kitchen and small burns from years of cooking and magic. He added the familiar uniform robe and her little twist of a smile turned tender just for him.

His heart ached as he looked up at the illusion he’d made. It was Lup. Every inch was her, exactly how he remembered. And after one hundred years, he would never forget even the smallest detail. But that only made it hurt more. She looked like any moment, she would open her mouth and tease him for sulking during Candlenights. She’d say there was a pie in the oven and ask him for a hand with decorating a batch of gingerbread people. And then they would laugh for hours while they made little skeletons and each other and the rest of their family. It was all so perfect. It had been so perfect. And now he had nothing but a note, a bitter reminder of a promise broken. _Back soon_. But she wasn't, was she? 

With a wave of his hand, he dismissed the illusion. Red lightnings crackled over him for a moment and he closed his eyes against the flickers of light. She hadn't meant to leave them like this. She had meant to come back. He had to believe that. He had to trust Lup. He had loved her for one hundred years, he could trust that one day she would be back. No matter what that took. No matter how long that took. 

Even if that meant that he was alone for now.

Even if that meant he was the alone one who knew what Lucretia had done. 

Even if he didn't understand.

Someday, things would be better. But for now, he was alone and it was the first night of Candlenights. He laughed softly, the sound almost bitter. Maybe this would be his Candlenights Miracle. But probably not. Dammit, he was still edging far too close to unstable. He had to pull himself back together or risk unraveling entirely. He had to stay together to find a way to get his family back together. He was the only one who could. 

 Quietly, he began to hum, watching the illusory candle cast shadows on the walls. He didn't remember all the words to the old song Lup and Taako had taught him one night on the Starblaster but he remembered the tune. It was an Elven song, something about the light in the dead of winter and knowing that the two suns would return. He began to sing, stumbling through the words, and watching the snow fall outside. When he'd long since made it past what lines he could remember, he kept humming. Then he spoke softly.

"Happy Candlenights, Lup. Wherever you are."


End file.
